neptunain:

legal tip: if a cop catches you smoking weed, be sure to tell them “whoever smelt it dealt it” because then they have to arrest themselves. trust me im a lawyerman

(via icandothedistance)

omfgsid:

My 4 year old brother told me he was scared to grow up and cried for like 10 minutes straight

finally I asked why he was so scared

and he said he was scared of drinking coffee

coffee

(via icandothedistance)

nayx:

*goes to bed at 2am instead of 5am* wow, my life is so in order right now.  i’m making such good decisions for myself and my body and my soul and im so in love with myself for doing this

(via icandothedistance)